Kerinduan tersirat dihati,

Kotak hatiku dipenuhi kekecewaan,

Tempat kepulangan aku impikan,

Keluarga yang kucinta,

Lembut sentuhannya sang angin,

Membawa khabar rinduku kepada mereka,

Pada papan langit gelap,

Lukisan alam menyerlah,

Bintang seribu hiasan malam,

Harapan diucapkan,

Mataku ditutup rapi,

Kuasa cinta menyelubungi aku,

Kepada Syurga aku berdoa,

“Bawalah aku kembali kepada keluargaku,”

Titisan air mata bagai butiran intan,

Ditadah pada tangan,

Wajah ibu tersayang terpantul,

Terkenang ayah sering menyebut namaku,

Terkenang abang yang sering membantuku,

Terkenang adik yang sering ada bersamaku,

(Malay version)

(The words that my older sister would never dare to tell me. Even though she never expressed her feelings or emotion towards our family but somehow I can feel it. There was once a time when I unintentionally read her diaries and I cried. Behind her cold expression, she yearns love.)

Chain my life with golden lock,

Keep me deep in the sanctuary of your heart,

Don’t let me wander off alone,

I’m a living beast,

Chain me only to you,

Time heals my heart,

The scars that have left deep inside,

Time heals my wounds,

The deep one that left the scar,

Every night I feel so empty,

Fear summons the darkness,

Why must I have to feel that way,

When there’s a bright room in front of me?

Calling out my name,

I’ve been wandering far away,

Don’t leave me alone like this,

I’m the living beast,

The beast inside of me,

Has turned into madness,

Lock my life,

And stay by my side,

Oh,

Did you feel the wind right now?
It feels so cold,

I feel the same way too,

It’s whisper of regrets,

While you cherished the past,

Did you see those memories?

Now won’t you tell me what did you see?

The shattered peace,

This harmony life is crushed away,

Protect me so I live,

Lock my heart with golden chain,

Search for me,

Call my name,

Chain my life with golden lock,

You’ll love me,

You’ll cherish me,

You’ll shield me,

You’ll kiss me,

Calling out my name,

I’ve been wandering far away,

Don’t leave me alone like this,

I’m the living beast,

The demon in my shadow,

Is already hovering me,

Lock me deep inside,

In the sanctuary of your heart,

Oh,

Did you feel the wind right now?
It feels so soft,

Sending whispers of sadness,

While you’re looking back,

Did you find that shattered pieces?

Now won’t you tell me what did you see?

(A girl with complicated personalities. A girl with confusing emotions. A girl with complex desires.)

This is a song lyric that I wrote myself but I don’t have or own a music. It is about a girl with emotions that cannot be understand. She wants something yet she wants to destroy it. She wants to be cherished and loved yet she wants to be alone and left alone. A story about her before her redemption.

My soul lingered in the shadow,

Seeking for the faint light,

The trail of hope vanished away,

Reached out for me,

I’ve fallen deep into the pit of death,

And I saw the light emits above,

Oh, you are the hope,

Walked on the diverged path,

Reverberation sounds distant,

Tears crumbled on the stone,

The spirit withered away,

My way deviates,

I can’t hear your voice,

I’ve become despondent,

Please enliven my spirit,

Illusion of tranquility,

Fantasy twisted the life’s rhythm,

My life stream have gone berserk,

Upon the sight of delusional peace world,

I saw the hoaxes of peace,

Imagination disrupts my life,

I feel so lacklustre and being corrupted,

Being played in the terror’s grips,

In the midst of endless run,

Breathless air,

Unleashing the power of void,

It’s burning full throttle,

Walk faster the time is stopped,

Remaining strength goes stronger,

Go on speed up the pace,

Flash and dash full throttle…

There was a girl walking down the empty road,

Under the shady tree she stood,

Sheltering herself from the scorching sun,

Ah,

The symbolic tree of their loyalties,

There she waits…

A certain person she called “close friend”,

There she waits…

Still holding onto the promise,

“Promise me you won’t leave me alone.”

A smile on her face,

As she can’t help but to smile ear to ear,

A simple ‘yes’ was her answer,

That “close friend” was her first love,

The only person she trust the most,

“Promise you won’t lie to me.”

A simple ‘nod’ was her answer,

“Promise me we will be together always.”

A single tear of joy was her answer.

“Promise me wherever I go, you will go.”

A simple ‘okay’ was her answer.

But…

Her heart bleeds…

She knows the truth,

Lies she saw in his eyes,

Still…

She holds the promise dearly,

Yet…

That person didn’t,

That person never came…

The promise they’ve made… Turned into an indirect words of goodbye.